Monday, November 2, 2009

The Future

I often worry about the future and what it may hold for Luke. I don't want him to be lonely. I want him to have friends and be happy. Just like the rest of my kids. But for some reason, I worry about it for him. With the others, I just assume they'll be ok, be independent and productive and happy and all the rest of it. I know that is not particularly logical, and that they could be miserable and lonely too, but that doesn't stop me!
I also know there are lots of people with DS who live independently and are very happy. But who am I to let reality get in the way of my worrying? I want Luke to live in his own place, but I have never lived alone, and have no desire to. So I worry about sending Luke to live alone.
Anyway, I have a solution. Or rather, Vanessa and I have a solution. Vanessa is the mother of Luke's friend Aidan, who I am about to introduce you to. We all met in therapy at the Champion Centre- and Vanessa and I get on like a house on fire. Meeting parents whose child has the same syndrome as yours is a strange thing. You have something in common, but it may be the only thing you have in common. However I have found a real friend in Vanessa, and I expect many other mums I have met and will meet there.

This is Aidan. He is about 3 months younger than Luke. He is also the youngest in his family. Like Luke, he is a mover and a shaker! We love Aidan.

Here are the boys just hanging out together.

Probably getting into trouble together (and we suspect there will be plenty of that into the future!)

This is one of Aidan's favourite pastimes. Sorry Vanessa, but I had to put it in! :)

So the plan is that the boys will be friends throughout their lives. And no we have not consulted them, and no we are not planning to! They may like to go flatting together, and get up to boy stuff together. Like trouble. And I am happy with that, it gives me some respite from my worry. Luke has a friend who will 'get' him, who will not judge him, who is on the same level as him. This is the beginning of a beautiful thing.

Which is not to say that there is no competition between them, or actually between their mothers, as to who will walk first. Because there is. And that's normal too!


My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. Such a beautiful thing. I applaud you for seeing this vision now, you will be so happy you did. I think they are going to be the best of friends and pals for life.

Kimberly said...

What a great plan!
I love what you said about meeting parents who have children with the same syndrome, that that may be the only thing you have in common. I seem to run into that more often than not. I think it's wonderful that you have such great support.
I'm pulling for Luke to walk first!!

Unknown said...

Mel loved the blog, had tears of joy in my eyes as you outlaid the plans for our boys :) I think we can reconstruct the parallel bars from your pics!!!! go little red!!!!

bizzum said...

What a wonderful plan!

Nan P. said...

Worrying is very healthy, because most of the time the very worst things we worry about never come to pass. And when not so nice things happen, we have worried about so much worst that we are well able to cope.

Worrying about Luke's future is normal. I worry about Cathal's, and about his parent's as well as the huge responsibility they have. But then I come across something like "The Specials" on the net, and for a while I am full of optimism again... Until the next time ;-)

BTW, yourself & Vanessa are great "schemers", but it looks like the boys will beat you to it!

Brandie said...

They look too cute hanging out together!